Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
