Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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