I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
please come you make the beer taste better
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
