dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
