someone get that fucking seahorse.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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