**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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