Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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