You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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