Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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