one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
