More tranny stories later!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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