I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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