I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
