What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
