Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
