I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
