you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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