he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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