just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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