Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
