I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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