So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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