I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
