You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
