If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Buhtt sex?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
