i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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