sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
