Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
