i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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