i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
