Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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