and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
