If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
