We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
