How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
