Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
