dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
