Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
