Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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