when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
