I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
