look no pants
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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