guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
