you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
be right there i have to get my cape
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
