I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
