cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
