last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
