i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dick very happy bro
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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