SEEEEXXX PLEASE
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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