I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
