Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
